Comments

   Waiho'o has really grown on me. He's one of my favorite characters and I'm really looking forward to learning more about the adventures of the Lau'un and her crew.

   The whole plot of Feb wanting the Lau'un to travel to Isle Gren got lost in the chaos that followed, but it is central to the story I was trying to tell.

   The game that the Lakhan are playing - with humans as the playing pieces - is focused on Port Alba at this point in the story, so all the Khulang experience just that part of the world. But Feb has figured out that the Khulang can manifest anyplace a temple is built to them, and where there is enough of the "breath of dragons", so she hired Waiho'o to sail far south of Port Alba with a small temple and a bucket of dragon breath to see if the "game" still worked.

   Of course, it does.

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   The subtext of Vitara and her alarms is the hardware of the "game" realizing that there are players out of the grid, and her attempts to get them back on the grid are what interrupt the connection and cause Feb to get shunted out of Rikon all together and into the world she encounters in the next chapter.

   Of course I did an abysmal job of actually conveying that in the story; something I hope to fix when I redo this chapter.

Ciaran.

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PS here's the pencils for pages 5 & 6:
   Pencils page 5
   Rough pencils page 6
   Finished pencils page 6